How Did I Get Here? - A Poem

How Did I Get Here?

1)

At four in the morning

it has been dark so long

that one can easily forget

there has ever been dawn

How did I get here?

What does this darkness help me see?

The peace of night or

the desperation of being

I know this time, this place

this feeling, and without guides

reaching out to me

this lonely night

I may be stuck here for eternity

2)

One does not leave darkness

first, not in my experience

but as this world spins we can

see others illuminated

Others with their sunkissed hair

and 100 mile visibility, a comfort

a happiness

I wonder if there is space for me?

How did I get here?

Can I get out?

Should I even strive? What would I do

without a guide?

3)

A helping hand,

a turn of good luck

love

and now

for the first time,

light

How did I get here?

Maybe not moving

and letting the world spin,

the comfort of the guides,

the helping hand in the night.

4)

We have lost

another guide

one comfortable in the darkness

one that helped those so desperate

Is there a way to care for them?

To prevent this? To repay them for helping us

get here.

I don’t believe they can be helped directly,

It goes against the ethos of the guides.

I think, all they want is for more people

to be free

to rid themselves of perpetual 4 am mornings

to be in the light.

At that point we can free the guides

to walk out of the night.